We frequently find ourselves in the midst of an emotional storm. It can be through our own doing, or other people’s dramas that affect us. I’m going through one right now.
Cleaning up a hoarder’s house is a disgustingly horrible task. Due to a death in the family, we find ourselves cleaning up the mess amassed over years of mental illness and physical debilitation.
This deceased person had been a challenge to deal with for many years. Cleaning up this hovel brings up emotionally charged grievances for many in my family. Their challenge is to see it for what it is and constructively integrate their past experience, and their issues with this family member, into their psyches. My challenge, however, is to see their distress and help where I can, knowing the process is important for their growth, while not trying to make it all better for them. How do I do this?
Be a Witness
I repeatedly, on good days, draw myself into the center, or the eye, of this storm by remembering who I am and standing back to watch the storm swirl around me. It seems that if I take one step into the swirling debris of emotional upheaval affecting my loved ones, I begin to spin. This spin cycle results in feeling bad, forgetting my inner core being and my connection to Source, and forgetting that I am in the arms of the loving Universe. That feeling inevitably leads to anxiety. So, step one is to go into the eye of the storm by becoming a witness instead of a participant, and stepping into my heart of love.
Observe and Process with Love
The next part of the equation is to sit quietly and look at this turmoil. I ask myself what, in particular, is most distressing to me. I ask myself what, about this situation, brings up feelings of any past traumas in my own life. The part of me that was not able to fix hurtful situations in the past – in this case, my experience of being bullied as a child, is what came up for me. So I give that part of me, that innocent part that suffered that trauma, love. I do this by putting my hand on my heart and giving myself love and Reiki. It calms my inner storm.
Regardless of whether I can figure out the answer to my triggered emotion right away, this process allows me to get back to my core self, my heart of love, the Eye of the Storm. I know that from this vantage point, I can see clearer what’s in front of me, and what’s affecting me. This act of loving my heart, gives me the feeling that I can now move constructively in a positive direction from my center.
Define and Confine
From this place of watchfulness and self-love, the storm around my loved ones seems more defined, instead of feeling like a huge cloud of despair with no way out. The witness, which I become, can watch the sadness and anger of others and send love into the situation. More importantly, the witness who is present with the moment can have peace.
Embrace the Freedom an Emotional Storm Delivers
Now I find myself standing inside the storm, watching it, and at peace. I know from my own experience with emotional challenges, that all this is as much for the healing of each of my family members, as it is for me. I know that the challenges of life are here, ultimately, to free us from our own past traumas and fears. Weathering an emotional storm in this way, brings inner freedom.